We all know the external signs of a trouble marriage or partnership – we’ve seen them on TV, or within our friends and family. The ongoing fights or bickering, a sexual affair or even filing for separation. Unfortunately these issues often indicate the end, rather than the beginning, of a problem within a relationship. Internal signs can often be noticed much sooner and can be faced before your relationship reaches the point of complete breakdown.
Knowing what is unhealthy or problematic in a relationship and your mental and emotional feelings towards it can help you save that trusted partnership in your life. Any negative and ongoing feelings towards your relationship are cause for concern, but the below indicators may not immediately strike you as negative. Read on to find out just why they can put your relationship in jeopardy.
A mental score card
Unfortunately keeping a mental score card is all too human a response to relationships. Whether they are work, platonic or romantic relationships, we can tend to keep score of who does (or doesn’t ) help out. It is certainly important to be in a balanced relationship where both partners are receiving and giving support, but a mental score card can make this process feel like a daily contract, rather than a relationship. If you’re keeping score then you will constantly be thinking about whether or not you get ‘enough’ from your partner.
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The grass looks greener
We all know the saying, the grass is always greener on the other side. Unfortunately, we often forget this is just an illusion, especially when it comes to our partners. Hearing from our friends or family members about their partners can make us jealous, especially if we compare what our own partner does or doesn’t do. Comparing your partner to someone else often makes you focus on the negatives of your partner, as opposed to the reasons you fell in love with them.
You shut them out
Whether you’re keeping secrets or just ‘not mentioning’ things, emotionally shutting your partner out can be the beginning of the end. Whilst it sometimes can be easier to avoid hurtful topics, this can result in a feeling of distance between you both. Couples counselling can provide couples with a place to talk about things they might have felt too scared, or just hesitant, to talk about alone.
Other people are your main support person
It’s normal to want and seek support from those around you, not just your partner. In fact exclusively relying on them can cause huge problems. Nevertheless if you’re constantly going to a work friend or family member to debrief, you’re denying your partner the chance to be your support person too.
Turn the distance between you and your partner, and settle your differences with Life Supports’ relationship counselling. Call us today at 1300 735 030, and our league of professional counsellors will help you every step of the way.